Excuse the Queues

I eat... a lot. Therefore, I cook... a lot. So, I spend at least 3-4 hours a week in the grocery store squeezing tomatoes, surveying the meats, and checking for broken egg shells. However, of those 3-4 hours, I swear that half of that time is spent in the checkout line behind some idiot who doesn't know how to use the self-checkout machine.

As I approach the bank of self-checkout kiosks, I have to ask myself, "Which of these people are the least idiotic." This stuff isn't rocket science, it's not even high school algebra. It's a fucking checkout line. 15 year old girls do this job for a living, and I get behind another person who can't figure the thing out. It never fails, one of three things always happens.

1) Their food doesn't scan properly, because they can't figure out that the UPC code needs to face the beam.

2) Their food doesn't have a UPC symbol, for example, an apple. But, they continue to try to scan it anyways.

3) They want to pay in cash (cash?!) and can't find where to insert their 30 individual one dollar bills.

I think most people have mastered the use of an ATM, and seemingly 99.9% of the population is perfectly capable of ordering from a drive-thru window. But this machine with it's "fancy" touchscreen and talking "assistant" leave people in a daze. Honestly, the machine TELLS you what to do next, and big green buttons pop up when you need to answer, YES. But, apparently, most people need a training program in order to use the thing. Today, I saw two college aged men arguing with each other how to use it. They were buying one pint of ice cream, one. I completed and bagged my transaction (all 62 dollars worth) in the same amount of time they took to uncrumple the 5, individual dollar bills they had stuffed in their pockets.

And, if the idiots in line weren't enough, why are only half of the machines operating at any time? What is the use of a turned off machine? It doesn't take any store staff to operate it. It can't possibly cost any more money to have it turned on. The same goes for automated toll booths, but that's a whole different story...

Anyways, I eventually got home and cooked myself the basil and tomato chicken I was craving for earlier. Thankfully I don't need to grocery shopping for another week. Be sure to enjoy a home cooked meal this week, about 10 minute later than you wanted to...

BEN