TP

I'm a bachelor. Young, single, enjoying life to its fullest. I have many friends who are bachelors, and many other friends are fully engrained in the married life. There are distinct differences in these two lifestyles, ranging from "what to make for dinner" to "what should we name our 2nd born child?" For the most part, the bachelor is pretty free to do whatever he wants, can purchase whatever he wants, and can live however he wants. If he wants Mac & Cheese for 5 nights straight, he can do that. If he wants to buy that exhaust system for his import instead of some new window coverings, he can do that too. In fact, the bachelor can live his life to the fullest, reporting to no one, and enjoying all that he can without any consequences.

But on the flip side, there are distinct similarities between the bachelor and the married man. For one, you need some basic transportation. Oh, since it's now snowing out right now, you might want a roof over your head too. Then there's the need for clothing since this side of the world isn't clothing optional. I can understand the ramen noodles versus filet mignon. But, can someone please explain this... why do Bachelors buy the cheapest damn Toilet Paper possible?! Seriously, that single-ply, see-through, $.25 per roll paper is ridiculous. It's scratchy, it's flimsy, it's just not really Toilet Paper. Why don't they just rip out pages from the stack of ESPN Magazines lying on the floor?

My ass isn't any more sensitive than anyone else's. I don't need the aloe infused, floral scented, designer colored Toilet Paper to sooth my behind. But how about a little two-ply, maybe a little bit of extra quilting, and yes, the aloe infusion does feel nice. I just can't get over the complete lack of self-respect by those who play their cheap card when it comes to Toilet Paper. Please, find some dignity and buy some decent Toilet Paper.

And that's no load of crap.